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The Mask I Wear

THE MASK I WEAR

Don't be fooled by me.

Don't be fooled by the face I wear

For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-

masks that I'm afraid to take off

and none of them are me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me


But don't be fooled, for God's sake, don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure

That all is sunny and unruffled with me

within as well as without,

that confidence is my name

and coolness my game,

that the water's calm

and I'm in command,

and that I need no one.

But don't believe me. Please!

My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask,

My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.

Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.

Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.

But I hide this.

I don't want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weaknesses

and fear exposing them.

That's why I frantically create my masks to hide behind.

But I don't tell you this.

I don't dare.

I'm afraid to.

I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh

and your laugh would kill me.

I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good

and you will see this

and reject me.

I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.

I tell you everything that's nothing

and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine

do not be fooled by what I'm saying

Please listen carefully and try to hear

what I'm not saying

Hear what I'd like to say

but what I can not say.

It will not be easy for you,

long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.

The nearer you approach me

the blinder I may strike back.

Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;

I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.

you wonder who I am

you shouldn't

for I am everyman

and every woman

who wears a mask.

Don't be fooled by me.

At least not by the face I wear.

-author, unknown


Be kind and let God's love in you shine so bright that others may find their way out of the dark.

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