"And he said, A certain man had two sons: and the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want. And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.(Luke 15:11-21)
You Can Come Back
Like this young man, we want what we want now, and it's usually when we're young and inexperienced. God doesn't give us anything that we can not bare. He does, however, give us a chance to prove ourselves. “He who is faithful in a very little thing is also faithful in much; and he who is dishonest in a very little thing is also dishonest in much. Therefore if you have not been faithful in the use of earthly wealth, who will entrust the true riches to you? And if you have not been faithful in the use of that [earthly wealth] which belongs to another [whether God or man, and of which you are a trustee], who will give you that which is your own? (Luke 16:10-12). So the young man's dad, knowing what would happen, gave him his stuff. Straightaway, the young man messed up, but because of his shame, he did not head home. He actually went deeper into despair. By the Grace of God, this young man remembered his father was a very rich man. By the way, our God is also rich. He owns everything not made by man's hands. His power, knowledge, and presence makes things happen in order to bless us. So now, like many of us, the young man is trying to figure out what he wants to say in order to be welcomed back. He's contemplating on presenting himself pitiful. Most times, we are more concerned about how the shame of what we've done makes us feel, rather than being truly remorseful to Who we've shamed, which is God. So, while he's - like us - trying to get his story straight, GOD, our loving father, our parent, sees him/us a great way off and meets him/us where we are. In fact, God knows the whole time where we are. The good thing is His Spirit always reminds us of who and Who's we are.
Make Your Way Back
So remember the heights from which you have fallen, and repent [change your inner self—your old way of thinking, your sinful behavior—seek God’s will] and do the works you did at first [when you first knew Me]; otherwise, I will visit you and remove your lampstand (the church, its impact) from its place—unless you repent. (Revelation 2:5 AMP) This story of the prodigal son shows that when we repent we are forgiven.