Feeling torn between right and wrong. Ashamed of your past that constantly taunts you. Always emptying yourself, or putting others first because you have an intense desire to serve God.
Your soul is in the right position to be blessed.
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after Righteousness: for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy (Mathew 5:3-7).
God Bless You.